Puerto Rican Problem: Falling Down the Subway Stairs

As you all know, I am full blown 100% Puerto Rican, yeah I know, it sucks that I have no trace of Italian in me.  So I am going to inform you guys of something that happened to my little Puerto Rican self this morning.  I fell down the MTA stairs going to school.  Yeah it would happen to me.  I was basically walking down the stairs, thought there were't any more stairs, but I was sadly mistaken.  I fell on the last step and twisted my ankle.  This has been a horrible school year for me because in November I broke my finger and now I may or may not have damaged my ankle,  but as of right now it's swollen and I have an ice pack on it.  My luck right? Well this may not be something all Puerto Ricans go through but i just needed to share this with you guys because for some odd reason this school year was the year I began breaking bones.  Like what is going on? And I honestly don't know why I am in school right now and I have to get this ankle fixed because Saturday is my SAT at Staten Island and I don't want to have to be in pain during that stupid test.  Well thats my Puerto Rican Problem for this week! Wish me luck guys!

Guidette Problem #6: Pregnant and Seaside

Snooki from the Jersey Shore has recently told the media that she will not be living with the cast in the house because of her pregnancy.  This is a MAJOR Guidette Problem.  She isn't going to be able to particpate in Guidette activities such as clubbing, drinking, fist pumping, and much  more.  This is obviously due to the little guido/guidette baby in her tummy.  My advice is for her to make the best out of it and rent out her own house with her and her fiance.  This will be beneficial to her and her baby.  It will give them a sense of family which is a GREAT thing for a guido family. Basically, a guidette should really put aside all the drinking and partying and just focus on their child and the baby guido/guidette's well being.

Puero Rican Problem # 5: Bang Curls

So as many of you know, a new trend that is hitting the Hispanic culture are bangs!!!!! Also, you guys are well aware that the weather has been horibbly full of rain, due to it being early May.  Well with that rain comes humditiy and with that humidity comes frizzy hair and with that frizzy hair comes curly bangs!!! This is never a good look.  Honestly when this happens one must have either a miniture flat iron or a hat or you should justt run home. My best advice is when you see rain and the humidity level is high, GO NATURAL or GO CURLY.  It's the best advice i can give to anyone looking for quick remedies to those annoying curly bangs mother nature has imposed on us.

Guidette Problem # 5: Fist Pumping Your Eye???

So many of us Guidettes have gotten the memo about a new dancing style that is in.  FIST PUMPING.  Every Guidette goes to the club in the hopes of finding a fist pumping guido juice head; every girl's dream.  Imagine your at Karma fist pumping with a guy and you accidently fist pump your eye.  At this point, the main thing that should be your concern is getting yourself out of the club.  That is so embarassing.  Second you should definately try to find a mirror to look at your eye.  This is such a guidette problem.  And worst of all, that guido juice head has no interest in you.  So get over yourself and go to be and cry yourself to sleep.  Get an ice pack on your eye and never show your face again at Karma.  Just don't do it to yourself if you can't control your Ron Ron juice intake to the point where you have no eye hand eye coordination. 

Puerto Rican Problem # 4: Delayed Trips in Puerto Rico

This is Goffio. My Favorite Puerto Rican Candy that
I will not have for another month. Thanks Mamita -_-.

So as many of you are aware, we are currently on spring break!!!!!!! YAY. -_- NO. Puerto Ricans obviously like to take vacations to Puerto Rico to see their family they don't see very often during vacations.  One person being my grandmother, except she left one month ago to Puerto Rico. She left and scheduled her flight back for April 6th.  It is April 11th and she is not back yet.  Thats because she took it upon herself to stay an extra month.  Well let me tell you something.  When a family member goes to Puerto Rico, I always send them with a list of candy to bring back for me.  As always I sent a list with my grandmother and she decided to stay a month.  I was expecting my long awaited Puerto Rican Candy on the 6th, but now because of delayed trips in Puerto Rico, I have to wait another month for my candy.  PUERTO RICAN PROBLEMS!!! I have been going crazy in the sense that I WANT my candy.  I feel like my grandmother did that on purpose.  Oh and not only do I have to wait for my Puerto Rican candy, but I have to freaking stay at home all my spring break babysitting, when I could've been working or out with friends, OR EATING my Puerto Rican candy.  Well tune in for next week for your guidette problem, and I will keep you guys updated on my Puerto Rican Problem.  Thank you very much! <3

Guidette Problem #4: FLYING MEATBALLS

Don't you hate it when you are putting meatballs in your plate on top of your spaghetti and the meatball drops.  Guess What?! You got a FLYING MEATBALL. That means; you got a guidette problem..  What to do when this occurs? Honestly I wouldn't know because REAL Italians always have SO MUCH food that one meatball wouldnt matter, but who wants to clean up the mess from a flying meatball?! NOT an Italian.  So just to avoid this whole situation, I say invest in a meatball transporter holder, Italians know what I'm talking about, and get your life together and you won't have a flying meatball.  No Italian wants to eat spaghetti without meatballs or eat dirty meatballs. Like seriously.  Sing this!...

"On top of spaghetti, All covered with cheese,I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed.It rolled off the table,And on to the floor, And then my poor meatball, Rolled out of the door. It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush, And then my poor meatball, Was nothing but mush. The mush was as tasty As tasty could be, And then the next summer,  It grew into a tree. The tree was all covered, All covered with moss, And on it grew meatballs, And tomato sauce. So if you eat spaghetti, All covered with cheese, Hold on to your meatball, Whenever you sneeze."

Exactly.

Puerto Rican Problem: Do I LOOK Dominican ?!

The ONE thing Puerto Rican's hate is when someone asks them "Are you Dominican?"  I honestly despise people when they ask me if im Dominican. One do i even LOOK like im Dominican.  I mean obviously there are some similarities between the two, but come on. First of all whenever you see a spanish person and want to know where their from, ask them where they are from, instead of making quick assumptions.  Because WE ALL KNOW what happens when people ASSUME!!!!! So before asking a Puerto Rican if they are Dominican, think again, reword your question, and ask.  If you follow that procedure you will avoid the raft of a MAD PUERTO RICAN !!!! Being asked if your Dominican when your Puerto Rican, is a MAJOR Puerto Rican problem.